This one is similar but far far more detailed. The weather has changed and it's now warm again. Winter relationships are now ending and as women start to wear less and less clothing, men with intentions of exploring the anatomy of these females will come out more and more. It's how it always is. If you got a relationship that was started when it was cold and if it lasts thru warm weather, you may have a keeper. If you have one and it failed and you are hurting because of that... One, you should have probably expected it, and two, it's all good. It happens.
The purpose of this entry to help assist you in seeing potential pitfalls and road blocks in your social interaction with the opposite sex. You may thing, Dav, why should I listen to you... You sometimes come across as a know it all, like your opinions are the only ones that matter, and that we are just idiots. You know what... Sometimes I do. But just because I do, doesnt' make me wrong. One thing about opinions, is that everyone has one... however this isn't an opinion piece. It's acutal factual honest truth given to you from one of those type of men I have spoken about earlier. If you don't care for the messenger... that's fine... It's far more important to me that you get the MESSAGE. I am a reformed player... Not one of the type of dudes who thinks he is... I LITERALLY am. It is and was in my blood. Father was. Brother was... Grandfather was... so there wasn't much of a chance I wasn't going to see it. I was a manipulator... Smooth talker to make the chicks panty droppers. I've studied women from more aspects and different angles than most..
I learned what they liked... the dislikes, their weaknesses, and their strengths.. All in order to gain an advantage to get exactly what I wanted from them while we were interacting with each other... Before you start, it's not just low self esteem women.., Honestly, you'd be surprised at how many women who think they have the highest esteem in public, are scared little girls in private who just seem to want a man to be open and honest with, but I won't say that at times that I didn't attempt to search out easier targets. The ones that throw themselves at you aren't very difficult to get what you want with because they need what you can give them more than you need what you will want from them. There have been times in my past that I probably had juggled 5-6 women at a time. I wasnt always intimate with them all.
Some I just wanted domesticated things from.. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, whatever.. So the first mistake that women make is to think that it is ALWAYS about sex. It's not. 75-80 % of the time it is.. but not always.. With me, it was more about control. It was like the replacing of the rush I got when I used to be on the court with the ball in my hands and the crowd going wild. Once those days were gone.. I needed another passion. Another drug... It became women. It wasn't that I purposely attempted to become one.. I just happened to have the oppertunity and basically.. I was really freaking good at it. I'm intelligent, and I have a way with words.
I'm attractive, articulate and I can conversate. Looks may get you in the door, and they are very helpful.. but it takes far more to keep different cons going with different women.. You had to remember great deals of things.. Plans, Jobs, Friends, Locations, all of their likes and dislikes.. What you were to them.. and what they were to you. It was like a Playstation 3 game and you were the star...
It was work, but I never looked at it that way.. It was FUN. Mountains of fun. Like in sales, there is no feeling other than the rush you get when you sell yourself to a woman that you see, and desire and then get her. Why else do you think so many men try to do it so often? Again, it's not always about the sex. But I was hooked. From about 17-26, I was the most gamespittin', hearthrobbin, seducing, selfish, greedy motha sucka I knew. Especially from 24-26 after my father passed and I was angry and hurt.. During those years... Those ladies.. Man, I hope they just chalk it up and forgive me because I put them thru HELL.
A friend of mine wants to tell me about Karma kicking her butt.. .Well, from all that, you best believe Karma came back and got me too. When I decided to settle down.. .WOW. Bad choice, Dav. Bad Choice. I can't get too mad because like OMAR says in THE WIRE, "The Game is the Game" and if you gonna play it, you gotta play it fair. My old roomate from Memphis in college, who was another playa I borrowed from, used to say, "The game is hard, but it's fair." You get out of it.. what you basically put into it.
Dav put a great deal into it. I'm running back thru my mind how many different personas I created.. The # of masks I wore... I got caught up... ONE TIME.. and Jo Jo or Amanda if yall reading this... Yep, yall got me good. Quick story. In HS I was dating 2 chicks...actually 3. They were all in different towns but on a straight line.. So I could see them all. After winning Mr. Basketball, my Head was far bigger than it ever was and I got sloppy and careless. I gave 2 chicks, the same picture of me. Not knowing they were friends(My bad on lack of research) but they had a mutual friend. The friend saw one of the pictures and said, "Why do you have a picture of such and such's man?" And the girl was like, "Her man, he's my man". Honestly, they were both side chicks. I dug em both, but they weren't the main.
However, they set me up. One called me over one day in the Summer to visit... I took my cuz with me because there was a girl for him too. So we chillin in the crib.. and the friend of my chick goes and makes a call I guess. 5 min later, knocking at the door. 2 chicks walk in. So i'm thinking, "Awe shit, it's about to get AB LIVA in this joint." Eh, not so fast... The third chick was the other side chick. My face dropped. Couldn't say nothing. At all. I was Busted. They both going off on me at the same time, and I'm just thinking, "Dav, how could you be so careless?" Hey, I was young and just starting... but funny thing, one of the girls started dating my cousin after that. Weird. Oh well. Is what it is. Anyway, I have much more of a resume but that's enough... This isn't about me.. this blog is about showing others what dudes like me(or how I was) try to do to manipulate and things you can do to prevent it. First off... Ladies, understand that you can or will be played at some point in your life. If you are one saying, Nope, not me…You are lying. Some women learn from the mistakes and don’t make them again, but it seems the majority continually seem to fall for the same type of stuff t and only to place the blame solely at the foot of the man. You can't do that. If you keep falling for the same stuff.. That is as much on you as on him.
So, let’s get this underway… This is going to be vital for many.. There are lots of dudes who think and wanna be players; however, and with how I think about my intelligence… I don’t believe they’ve studied and schemed as much as I have to go into such detail. For many, the gratification came from bedding the women. For me, it was the fact that I knew any persona I created, if I wanted you bad enough, you’d fall for it. I’m giving you all my strategery… And if you ask why, it’s because I can. Because I don’t need it anymore. Within all the masks I created, the different sides of Dav, in truth, they were still all apart of me. As I matured with the relationship with my son’s mother and the birth of the little computer hogger… I realized that I can be all of things, at the same time to just one person.
I’ll begin by a question I know many women ask themselves… “What am I doing wrong?” That is a FANTASTIC place to start. You have to realize that in your selection of men, or interaction with men, that while you may keep getting BS dudes that there is a possibility that you are potentially the biggest roadblock in your own way.
This… is one thing that MANY MANY MANY women refuse to acknowledge and until they will the odds will still be stac
ked against them. If you aren’t going to have self reflection in all aspects in your life, whether it’s positive or negative in terms of your assistance, then you are not yet finished growing and maturing as a person. A woman’s CONFIDENCE is by far the easiest way to manipulate her. If you think the male ego is big.. .it has NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING, on a woman’s. I loved meeting confident women who talked and talked and talked and wouldn’t shut up. The ones that care where the eyes roam to when she enters the room. And as I listen to Dru Hill’s , Enter the Dru(the album that spawned me head first into playerdom)..I’m running back thru my head all the women that were able to be obtained that would put my cockiness to shame.
Women who are OVERLYCONFIDENT, and ooze it, especially to males, more times than not are overcompensating for a lack in another area. Maybe their success isolates them from those around them being able to connect with them in their daily avenues. They may have trust issues of being used.. They may not feel good enough or think highly of themselves enough that who THEY are instead of WHAT they are would allow them to keep a man. Seriously, think about it.. What woman, who even understands men on a small scale, openly would go in and constantly make references to how talented they are.. especially if they really believe that they are intimidating to men? Here is a secret about men.. Most aren’t as dumb as they play…Not in terms of women or interactions.. Oh, they may not understand everything you think they should and the blog, “HELP ME, HELP YOU” can dive further into that.. but when a guy wants what he wants from a female.. he tends to put his thinking cap on. When I met an overly confident woman, I immediately played to it. I fueled it. The more she’d talk and talk about her accomplishments, her goals, aspirations, I just smiled, kept eye contact, shifted my body weight to act surpised when she’d say something that she thought was going to be unique, nodded my head when it was appropriate and filed away all the information she gave. These women are like the WWW. They are the “GOOGLE ME” type chicks. The only thing is that I don’t even have to log on to get what I wanna know. Women like this are so proud of their accomplishments and wanna be looked at so special, that I pretty much know everything you are going to say on a first date. As a woman, if you are this type, and if you’re being honest with yourself, you are going to have to pull back. Don’t give out so much so soon… Especially not the first few dates. Remember to KISS.. .Keep It Simple Sally. Be basic. I know LIL DUVAL talks about Basic Bishes, but this is one time where you’re going to have to be. Communication is not just about what you say, but it’s non verbal too and what you don’t say. It’s in how you breathe.. It’s in your ability to maintain eye contact.. If you’re fidgety, what you wear, your makeup..your hair… Even what you eat and order if you have dinner… Your tastes in Movies…. ALL THIS STUFF IS STUDIED by the best of the best. If you a thick girl, and you go out to eat and try to eat a Corn Cob salad with Avian water and a touch of lemon.. but you have a donk and a half and some nice juicy thighs ( and I’m still talking about good thick) but light weight don’t wanna be “PIGGY” and you know you can throw down.. I already know a few things… One, you care about my opinion and you don’t wanna overdo the food too early. When I learn that… I already know that you’re going to be receptive to pretty much anything I say that’s not too stupid. You have to always be yourself from jump. Just as you don’t want to meet a man’s representative, a man doesn’t wanna meet your’s either. If you like to eat.. Damn it, EAT.
Get you a drink.. Hell, get two. If you are interested, do not give off too many eager signals early on. Play hard to get… Not too too too much, because even a guy with true intentions, even if he is fancied by you, won’t jump thru too many hoops when he probably has other options.. You have to find a happy medium.. To give just enough to keep him interested, but not enough to where he feels you are a pushover. If you want the best odds for success, you have to let the man LEARN about you, and stop telling him about you. Because you’re going to tell about yourself in the most positive light and make yourself coming out looking like you just left the 3 dollar car wash on Dixie Highway.. unless you are like me and you just are upfront and will tell people the honest to God… If he’s LEARNING about you, then he’s making his own impression of who you are into his brain and possibly into his heart. As this goes on, it’s harder for him to be able to just discard you as being crazy. You aren’t always gonna be your best everyday… but when you come across initially as you don’t have OFF days, and then you start having them.. .this is a dramatic shift for a dude to deal with. Men like consistency in their women as much as they like it in their man.
That whole, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” bullshit is about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.. No one should try to be at their worst but if I’m putting in time to be with you, as a man, then I ALWAYS deserve your best effort every single day. It may not be your best, but put forth that effort. A man who sees an effort is less apt to start playing games with emotions because more than likely respect has built up. Back to the Google Me’s.. If you drive a nice car, have a good job, nice things, if the dude isn’t blind, he can see this. The Google me’s are the ones that thinks any dude that doesn’t hit every single bullet on their “list” constitutes SETTLING. However, every now and then, this SUPERWOMAN becomes a regular woman and gets tired of being alone… Bam.. When that happens… More than likely, they will be gamed. Then they will return back to the list and blame it on a man why they will NEVER deviate from the list. My advice, HAVE NO LISTS… NO EXPECTATIONS, NO PRECONCEIEVED NOTIONS, take each dude, and each social interaction as it is and see it for what it’s truly worth. You may think you’re special… that you are such a catch.. and you may just be, but in the eyes of most men, you’re just a woman. You may have more money than Becky, more class than Cassandra, but you still have 2 breasts and a vagina. To many men, who you are is just the wrapping to get to the yummy treat. I’m sorry for being so jumpy, but I’m writing in a short amount of time to get this done…
We’re gonna go from the Google Me’s to the next group I dealt with the most and honestly, they are the are the ones that probably hurt the most from games and that’s the single women with children. *SIGH* God, forgive me for lies I’ve told these types of women. For the false hope that I gave them initially instead of being upfront and honest. Single women with Children are by far the ones with the biggest target on their back. Not all, and I’m sure there are lots of women with Children who are single…and will refuse to think they fall into this category and that’s fine.. but for those of you who are being honest.. I’ll have to say this.. It is by FAR the hardest on yall. I already knew back in the days I was in the game that I would NEVER date anyone serious with more than 1 child… Honestly, back before I had Jax, if you had a kid… It was pretty much a wrap before you got unwrapped. I had no kids and I was selfish and wanted to please only me. However, women with kids have the shape that I really really really like. Legs, Ass, full breasts, etc… So while I couldn’t get with them on the kid tip… Goodness gracious, it was far far far too hard to give up on being able to have fun with that body of hers. I mean seriously, if you cut out women with kids, especially on a PHYSICAL tip, you’ve cut out so many women that you’ve dealt yourself a bad hand. If you are in this boat… and you meet a man and he immediately tries to get physical or talk about physical and comes across as he’s not really interested in getting to know who you are… DO NOT IGNORE THIS SIGN. He’s telling you without telling you. Men see a woman with kids and he already knows that she has sex…probably often. The type of man you have to watch out for is who I called my Cassanova side. These types are the ones that are all about you..before you even get a chance to show who you are. He makes you feel like the princess from jump.. and he’s your prince charming.
See, I banked on the probability that women with multiple kids need that break from reality because they deal with the stress of their kids, their job, the kid’s fathers, etc and they have to give up so much of themselves that when someone who is attractive, witty, takes a shining to them, they seem to forget for a brief second the struggles about being single and start to believe again that they can have something real again after dealing with all the bullshit in terms of a real relationship. Often, these women get whirlwinded and swept off they feet… so much so that they ready to give as much as they can to keep that feeling around them. They open their legs much sooner. Never never never a good sign. If you give it up quickly, regardless of what a man says, he often won’t take you very seriously. Within all the effort his doing to make you feel special, the odds are that there is a reason behind it. There is a goal he has in mind. The Cassanova moves FAST.. He sends you the texts when you frustrated at your job to tell you he’s thinking about you.. He’s always there to take you out on your off weekend from your kid(s) and keep you all to himself during the time he doesn’t have to share you. I hated being Cassanova deep down, but it was the easiest CON. It had the highest effective rate. The good looking single guy who is smart, funny and all that good stuff has now taking a liking to me and my baby daddy(ies) be on that BS but this cat talks to me like a person.. Makes me feel good about how Iook.. doesn’t call me dumb or a bitch, or lie to me(That I know of) Maybe…. JUST MAYBE I can have this. I don’t have to sacrifice my happiness to have a bullshit relationship.. He possibly could be the real deal. He knows I have kids and he hasn’t ran off yet.. Then it goes from Maybe.. to HOPING.. and from HOPING to WISHING… Once it gets to WISHING.. Cue LIL FLIP’s music… GAME OVA. The ringer more than likely is your next cycle… This is when all of a sudden, after he’s got you and yall been physical, and your emotions get involved, he starts to become distant… no more texts.. no more making time to see you or go out of his way to see you, just if it was for an hour or two. He’s harder to get on the phone.. he’s always busy now. When you wanted him to come by.. he was never longer than 20-30 min.. but now, he quick talks you off the phone. He only wants sex when he comes around or something physical.. Even typing this, I feel so much regret because I ran this con on autopilot. I did however make it a point to be as least involved in the children’s lives as much as possible. I was an ass, but I wasn’t cruel. Women with children.. my advice to you is to ASK AS MANY QUESTIONS AS POSSIBLE from EARLY on. Make him do the talking and explaining. Here are a few questions I think you should and should not ask… Questions to avoid "Why do you feel this way about me?" "Why do I get all your attention and focus?" "Who else have you told this to?" These should be self explanatory… they all come across as if you aren’t used to being treated well. If you give indications as to this, you can’t expect to be treated well. No man is gonna buy the cow if he doesn’t have to pay for the milk. You have to always, even if you haven’t been treated well lately, ACT AS IF.. Act as if you are royalty, regardless of your circumstances and situations and that not only are you Supposed to be treated great, but I’mma need you to not give me 100% but 110% homeboy.
Even if you are impressed with him and his approach and his whole entire package.. you can’t let that be known to early on. You may not have as much confidence but you can’t let that be known. Anytime you come across as vulnerable or that you feel like you don’t deserve all of the goodness, you’re leaving yourself open for attack. You are throwing a bloody carcass in the water where a shark is swimming. As much as women size up men.. MEN really size up women. That’s when we determine if she’s worth the effort to try and get some from her or to respect her and try to have something REAL with her. Questions that you should ask... "What about me do you like the most?" (Listen to this answer) You should be able to see if it's Bullish or not. "What do you think will come of our friendship?" "What do you look for in a woman?" (listen to this, and see if you fit this.. if you dont..don't force yourself to fit) What’s one thing about yourself that would possibly turn me off? Do you see the differences in the questions… The first ones show a timid nature… The latter show more confidence and control. Especially the second question. Because now you have taken back the power and put it out there.. the F word. Men who are full of ish usually cower from this word. Nobody wants to be in the friend zone. A Cassanova type uses mostly lines and contrived stuff. Hell, I’ve taken verses from songs, remixed them like Diddy(Take that take that take that) and used it and made females think that I had the original. Girl please, I stole that from an old song.. or an old movie. Anything that seems too good to be true… probably is. Ask men about their flaws.. What they did wrong in past relationships.. etc. These are things you can’t BS and Lie and Charm your way out of. If he acts like he didn’t do anything…. LEAVE HIM ALONE. He’s lying. Even in my relationship, I did stuff. I coulda been better. Coulda did more, paid more attention, etc. I always give this information out when asked. Any person who will honestly admit that they did NOTHING in a relationship that ended more than likely has a issue with they index finger and they probably love to point it. That’s for anyone. Anyone who never takes blame is probably not a good match for you. Women with the childrens(PLURAL)… You are gonna have more work on your hands. That’s just the game. You have to take more control. Because you have the most to lose. You have to decide whether this is the type of guy you can bring into your children’s life and it wont do them harm. So just because he likes you, and wants to do things for you on Monday, doesn’t mean on Friday he’s gonna answer your call. When you ask your questions…LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS.. REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAY. EVEN ASK IT AGAIN in a different way to see if you get another answer. You all have to game plan better than other females. You have to be smarter and can’t be as careless and cavalier with your heart. If he has a problem answering your questions, then that’s a red flag. If he won’t go the extra mile to put your concerns at ease… He probably wont be doing that in the long run either. Determine how many red flags are too many for you. Don’t allow your situation cause you to be satisfied with any ole thing. If you just want a man to have a man and not feel different.. A shark is gonna eat you for breakfast.. You are NEVER gonna have a stable and productive relationship. You are going to Barter and trade.. your happiness for a warm body.. and men are gonna PLAY on this hoping that you fall in that category. If he can’t get with you, and leaves.. LET HIM. It ain’t for you.
There are many other types of women, each one requires different angles to play. But I'm so tired and been writing for so long I dont feel like going into to detail anymore about them.
This was hard because my mind jumped around so much and it was like, Say this, but say that, but don't forget this... and I'm like WHOA.. OVERLOAD.
To go back to some key things...
Pay attention to SIGNS, changes in behavior. Big Red Flag.
Ask specific questions to gain specific answers... This is Vital, this weeds out many BS dudes from jump. If it sounds rehearsed, it is. It's something that we've used over and over. On the spot, most dudes who aren't articulate enough to come off the top of the dome reverts back to something that is safe.
Charm is good, but it can't be enough for you.. Look for substance. tangible evidence.
Don't be too over anxious to describe who you are. Less is more, trust me. Be Vague early on. Not to the point where you aren't polite, but just be vague about yourself. Let him learn about your story more than you tell it to him.
When you're asking questions.. Listen to his responses.. A closed mouth don't get fed. The more you make a potential player talk about things you wanna hear and less things he's comfortable with telling you.. the easier it is to weed out BS.
If you see red flags and you ignore them.. Don't be mad at anyone but yourself when BS shortly follows.
And my final piece of advice.. .SOMETIMES a N**** is just gonna be a N****, no more no less. If you get one of these dudes, don't try to change them, clean them up, fix them.. etc.. They not broken.. They just have no more aspirations other than being a N****. You won't be able to F*** it or Suck It out of him. He just goin be what he goin be. So you have to decide to move away from him, or stay and get some BS.
Some women who complain about BS, really actually like it. They don't feel like they are loved or involved unless it's F****** up. They have to have drama, or some issues, to blame someone or everyone. Those, I rarely ran cons on.. and I usually ran from.
Like I always say, you will NEVER know if someone is full of shit, until you actually know. So crying and making excuses about past men messed you up and you can't trust new men is some horse shit from the planet of sucking Donkey Balls.. (Sorry, just saw Stepbrothers and wanted to find a place to add that in).
When you drive your car in the morning, you have no idea if you're gonna crash, get hit or hit someone until you actually do. But that doesn't keep you from driving does it? Do you say, I'm not gonna drive because someone might hit me or I might hit someone or get f***** up in an accident?
Unless you have Automobilophobia, I'd say no. You have to take that same stance in social interactions. Not every dude you like is gonna be a Royal Flush.. You gonna run into a few small pair type negroes.
Be patient and trust your instincts... Or be needy and get played on.
Either way, I'm tired of writing.. If you wanna ever chat.. and I'm on, hit me up. I'll answer anything you may wanna ask... or just to bounce ideas off me. That's why I am here.
This is the Middle Finger... Telling my ladies... If you gonna be in the Water... Be prepared to deal with some SHARKS.
