Being Perfectly Imperfect.

From time to time, the Middle Finger will probably piss you off. Basically say "F You" without the cursing. That's why we created the Middle Finger. To be that place where you can come and get smacked in the face for the dumb shit that you know you have done, but were never called on it.

Even at times, I call out myself and this blog will be one of those times. As the creator of this blog, there are times where I wanna reflect on myself in front of the eyes of the reader. To make you see with my eyes.

As much as I speak on relationships, personal interaction, situations in general, I'm far from a know it all. Experience for me, has come from bad decisions, sleepless nights, fear, loathing, self-pity.

The Early death of my mother, the alcoholic abuse of my father, the failed aspirations of a dream... all helped to cultivate the world that I see and one in that which I now dwell.

I have the ability to connect with people through words. The ability to speak and have others pay attention. I love that connection. It's when I feel alive.

When people respond positively to what comes out of your mouth...it is like perfection personified.

I am perfect, perfectly imperfect. I inherited my father's insatiable desire for the attention of a woman. Because my mother passed when I was 8 years old I don't recall much of her. Photos, shotty memories, and stories seem to be all that I have.

It is from this, that I seem to relive the same cycle in each relationship with the opposite sex. In each conquest, each interaction, each connection... the depth of my heart longs to complete the emptiness that was left in her death.

I wasn't taught love. I learned it. From Television, novels, nature....and many other mediums. When I read Romeo and Juliet, I envisioned that love was suppossed to be that way. A bond that would transcend all, even death. Alas, it is a dream.

How could that type of love exisist, if it does not dwell in me? I am an incomplete math problem. The theorem with no solution. The unproven proof.

Pythagorean said that A2+B2= C2 and the issue with Math and the reason that I loved it as a student is because Math is a perfect language. It's universal truth. It's constant, faithful and true, each and every time. All the things that I am not.

My sister calls me the dumbest Genius she's ever known. Truthfully, the only thing that I truly know, is that I know nothing.

I don't know all the answers, I know fewer absolute truths... but I do know that I'mma live life to the best of my ability. To experience all that is laid out for me... To smile in adversity, to cry in triumph, To be born in death, and to marvel in life.

Confused yet? Yep, me too... But's it's a helluva ride.


This is the Middle Finger, telling you, dive deep into your inner soul to realize just how much you really don't have it together... and then look in the mirror and say, "FUCK IT, Let's see what Today brings."